The Cannibal Club (Movie Review)

Starring Ana Luisa Rios, Tavinho Teixeira, Ze Maria

Directed by Guto Parente

First off, apologies to any vegans that potentially might be perusing this particular review – a far stretch I know, but it’s always better to have your bases covered…or your muffins buttered. This is indeed one of those “WTF” movie instances where you can’t entirely believe what your eyes are taking in, but you sit there and let the chaos envelop you like a warm, fuzzy blanket, or in this case a bloodsoaked tablecloth.

Director Guto Parente’s horror/comedy The Cannibal Club is up on the buffet table of gore this morning and sufficed to say that this is one of those aforementioned watches that’ll have you giving the screen your best “WTF” face as you witness its utter depravity. Centering around the wealthy married couple of security consultant Otavio (Teixeira) and his wife Gilda (Rios), the duo has quite the appetite for human flesh, and the course normally resides around the person who is acting as the couples’ personal security for the time being. Gilda turns on the charm (and the security officer), and while they’re in the heat of passion in comes Otavio to make the save…or the kill for this matter, followed by a sumptuous meal consisting of only the finest cuts of…(ahem) – “former” security personnel. Dining size also varies from time to time as we can see the happily wedded couple chowing down on said meat-slab by themselves, or an entire party of carnivorous citizens gathered together to celebrate their wealth, and ultimate domination over the lesser sector.

However, it’s a deep, dark secret that Gilda manages to uncover that will throw the entire Cannibal Club into a tailspin unless its most taboo cipher is kept locked up with no one to speak of it any further. The film takes on a free-for-all atmosphere in its latter half, as Otavio and his bride will do anything to keep mouths from running over and themselves out of harm’s way – the duality of the perverse, I call it. For only having an 80-minute runtime, the film does move at a snail’s pace in certain instances and does no justice for those seeking a bit of an introspective peek at the individuals who make up this conglomeration of skin munchers that fill the club’s ranks. The saving grace of this film is the work performed by the leading dastardly duo of Rios and Teixeira – while giving off terse flashes of unhinged beauty that only some can find in wedded bliss, this husband and wife pairing is not only believable but engaging in their portrayals – seriously unscrewed these two are! More than enough spurts of blood, guts…and other bodily fluids hitting the floor should be more than adequate enough to satisfy the gorehound in the household, but please remember to keep your shoes on as we don’t want anyone stepping in anything viscous.

Overall, I can recommend The Cannibal Club as a one-timer for those looking for improvements to be made to their own dinner parties – ya just gotta have an ample supply of willing employees, a spouse with loose moral fiber, and several sharp implements to shave the meat right down to the bone, cause you know…no one likes bone fragments in their preferred cut of choice.

The Cannibal Club (2019)
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